What does it mean to live "the 'underconsumption' life"?

I live according to the dictates of my conscience. Help where I can. I am very aware that I’m not going to be here forever. I will leave it all behind. I’m not here to consume. To be a giant black hole that devours everything and returns nothing. I try to be reasonable. Helpful, kind, and decent.

It means what I do. Here’s how it works.

I live far far far far below my means. Why?

I caught my husband of 20 years looking at inappropriate pics of women on TikTok or Instagram. I'm not sure., but when I told him he got mad and made excuses of why they popped up. I then told him how I've snuck on his phone and saw what he's been looking at . We had a horrible big fight. I asked him why did he even marry me when I see the type he likes . Nothing like me, I'm petite, blonde and blue eyes. These women are dark haired dark eyed and have curvy bodies, large breasts, etc. I just don't feel the same about him after this. I can't get over this

Money only fixes certain financial problems. Creates others. Once my basic needs are met? Nice place to live, Good car. Decent food. Bills covered. Savings and investment covered. Taxes covered. Then what? What’s really important to me.

Paranoia. Lot’s of predatory people out there.

I was also worried about what people think. Thinking showing off would improve my social status. It does but not with the people that matter.

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Well, some of it is healthy. Once I got wealthy enough to afford anything I wanted? I realized I really didn’t want that stuff. I only wanted it in the first place because I couldn’t have it. Like a crying little boy who’s sister got a cookie but he didn’t. I was just crying about the injustice of life or trying to prove something to myself.

Do I do that? Nope.

Can I afford to live in a 6000 sq/ft house on the affluent side of town? Own four new high end cars? Take seven long vacations a year to exotic locations? I most certainly can afford that without batting an eye.

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Some is unhealthy. I have been really poor in the past. At 20 and again at 31. I was homeless both times. Once for a month and the second time for over a year. I have a tremendous fear of that. So I stockpile. Tons of redundancy. It’s really neurotic. Not to the point of being a miser but I could loosen up a bit.

So I have a huge surplus of money every month. I am really grateful to God for that. I am also aware it’s not for my own selfish satisfaction or security. It’s not to pump my ego up or convince myself I’m better than anyone. I am simply blessed and awe struck.

I still enjoy the 70% of sales at JC Penney. Still use coupons online. Still cut my own grass. My neighbor calls me Forrest Gump.

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